Kicking Cancer

Prevention Through Healthy Living

In Order to Live Well Today

It’s hard to believe I just finished chemotherapy infusion number 15.  One to go.

Today I returned home from chemotherapy in Marin to my daughter telling me that they lit a peace candle at school for three women and a dog who were hit by a car while on an early morning run.  Later that day I found out that I know one of the women…a vibrant, wonderful woman, a mother, and Montessori school teacher in our community.  She suffered major injuries and is in the hospital along with another of the women.  Sadly, the third woman, a mother of two, a wife, and a lecturer at Humboldt State University was killed.  So tragic that I can’t quite wrap my brain around it.

Since my diagnosis in March, I have been majorly wrapped up (mind, body, and spirit) in my cancer, a disease that is potentially life threatening.  While I try to keep it at bay, I sometimes have the thought that someday the disease could take my life, but for now I am fortunate to be alive, having the gift and honor of being a mom each day and night, even if I am in Marin, saying goodnight to my husband and kids on speaker phone.  Being a mom is clearly the most important part of me, and from what I have heard about the woman who was killed in this tragedy…it was the most important part of her.  Emotions surrounding my cancer have taken second fiddle.  I hear she was the most dedicated and loving of moms and the nicest woman around.  I am so sad for the loss that her family is suffering.  My heart aches and I am reminded to live and love each and every day as if it could be my last.

I watched a video few nights back on curing cancer naturally.   One sentiment that stands out to me from the movie is the following:  Whatever you are doing for your healing (yoga, diet, qi gong, acupuncture, herbs, homeopathic medicine, exercise, prayer, etc)… Don’t do it in order to “not die”… it in order to live well today.

I was happy to come across this because lately when I perform my healing regimens in order to “not die” or to “fight for life” it feels desperate or manic a bit.  With an underlying fear to boot.

So, now I come at my healing regimen with more peace and calm.

As the summer wraps up, I certainly have been busy living well each day and feel so blessed and fortunate.

I hope you are living well each day too–with all of the crazy and wonderful things life throws your way.

Epic Mount Tam hike with friends (Phoenix Lake to Stinson Beach).

“Forging” the South Fork of the Smith with Taylor. Her first river crossing!

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9 thoughts on “In Order to Live Well Today

  1. It has been such a deeply painful time, to imagine and to feel, for those who are suffering in our community over the senseless and cruel loss of life and injury. Psalm 90 teaches us “Treasure Each Day, Remember to Treasure Each Day, that you may acquire a Heart of Wisdom.” A wise heart knows that every second we are granted on this planet is a gift and that our children, our beloveds (in fur or other forms), our gardens, our planet, our friends are all to be cherished and honored. It’s amazing when a death, that is unexpected and random, occurs how the ripples affect us all and it also always reminds me of why I am a pacifist. Every death of a person by violence affects so many people. War zones, and violent uprisings all over the planet are full of deaths every day that are wrong and that impact deeply and across great distance. It is also complex to have joy and live well when others are suffering, so I try and hold those I am praying for in the light and then think, well, if I was on the other side, I’d want everyone I know to kiss their kids and say hello to the pretty flowers and enjoy the best loving they could find, I know I won’t and wouldn’t want those I love to suffer, I would want them to get taken care of when they were sad. So, let’s all take care of those in our midst, with our prayers and whatever they need, that includes you Nicole, with as much tenderness and wise-heartedness that we can bring to the endeavor.

  2. Thanks, Nicole. I always gain wisdom from your insightful comments. Your sharing is much appreciated. Hope to see you around town soon!

  3. Melissa Kraemer on said:

    Thank you Nicole. I’ve been so sad about this terrible tragedy as well. Thank you for this post. I’m happy to hear you’re doing well and living each and every day to the fullest, with peace, calm and so much love. Such an important reminder to us all and it’s one of those things that, at least for me, requires reminding over and over. ♥

  4. Life is so tender and short. I love this way of thinking as I celebrate each moment. Thank you Nicole for the wisdom and inspiration. You are a huge part of me remembering to “live well each day” and from the bottom of my heart, I THANK YOU.
    And um… Woot woot! your cruising through this. Time for some celebration I’m thinking. xo

  5. I love you Nicole. I’m now thinking about what I can do right now, at this second, to live well today. Thanks.

  6. Bonnie Etz on said:

    Forging the “River” ,Nicole and soon you’ll be on the other side. We here at the Project are waiting to embrace you as you complete this part of your journey.
    We’ve all been in the water and know a sunny bank waits for us on the other side.
    Bonnie from the Project

  7. Tiffany on said:

    What a wonderful sentiment — don’t think of it as fighting, think of it as simply living as well as you can right now. I hope that shift in focus brings you some peace. (((love and hugs)))

  8. Julie Clark on said:

    omg, you and i look like twins…your hair looks exactly like mine, kinda white…I’m the platinum blonde look right now…congrats on almost being done…I have 8 more infusions..the slow train. After tomorrow it will be 7. I’m doing pretty darn good though,just want this over with. Love your sentiment. Its about today that we live.

  9. Tamar Krigel on said:

    I love u sweet Nicole!

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