I might seem like I can hack it, but perhaps it would be best if you resisted the urge to tell me the worst possible cancer stories you know. It may mean that I burst into tears the second I get into my car or see my children next, or maybe even that I can barely hold it together while standing there bravely conversing with you, or that it keeps me up late at night when I should be getting my precious cancer-fighting well-being sleep. Or maybe all of the above.
I may be strong, but I appear stronger than I really am, and I think you’d be hard pressed to find anyone with cancer who does not spend at least a few minutes each day hoping that the cancer does not metastasize, or worrying that his/her children will have to grow up without a parent.
Believe me, I know the realities. There are tons of stories where the person with cancer is fine….they diligently go through their intensive treatments, they love themselves, their children, husband, and life in all of its awesomeness as much as I do, and they fight for their lives by doing every single thing they possibly can, yet they still die a few years later. Or less. I see stories like this online and have read them in books, and have even known a few who had very little time on the planet after being diagnosed. It is scary business. I try not to go here or I will fall apart.
There are also tons of survival stories. People who have beat the odds. These are the stories I want you to bring me, or none at all.
Also please do not approach the subject of “well, there is a reason for everything” or “it will turn out how it is meant to”…..I am totally cool with karma and God and the big picture, but I don’t really want to hear about it while I am fighting for life, AND I know for a fact that no children should have to grow up without one of their parents and that the best possible place and role for me is here on the planet with my children until I die of a ripe old age. And if there is some big picture or karmic reason why I am not supposed to be here, I will fight with and curse at the gods until my last breath that it was not the right thing. My place is here.
Just wanted to get that off my chest.
(No need to comment here or on my fb about people not thinking/being cold-hearted—-that is not what I am looking for. I really think that these people just don’t know, so I am educating).