It has been such a pleasure sharing this journey with you. In fact, in many ways it was a huge part of my healing process. Writing about my emotions or a technical aspect of my experience really helped me to get a handle on it myself. I never wrote a post that did not feel completely “ripe”, and so only wrote what I really felt like needed to be out there in the world. When I look back now at all the posts since last March when I first received my diagnosis I am reminded of a difficult, but also manageable and magical year. Mostly what I remember is tons of support, love, laughter. I met some remarkable people that I would not have otherwise met, and I faced fears and other issues that made me stronger and wiser. I am in such an awesome place. I think what I got most out of this past year is a result of in depth research of the best diet for me and a real understanding and belief that diet and self-care regimen will be unique for each person. So much has to do with each body type and what feels good to each person. But the biggie is best said by Suzanne Friedman, qi gong professor at the Acupuncture and Integrative Medicine College in Berkeley. (I had the pleasure of taking a qi gong course with her on weekends between radiation appointments). We take awesome care of our cars…we take them in for tune ups and dump tons of money into them. We can’t live with out them and fill them with gas and oil when it is needed. But when it comes to our own bodies, we skip meals, don’t go to the doctor, don’t get massage/acupuncture “tune ups”.
Yesterday was a gorgeous “no parking along the coast” beach day and the kids, dog and I headed north to Moonstone Beach and Trinidad beaches. We climbed over rocks, working together to find the best routes and help the dog scramble up and down (I know…poor dog!), we played with sticks and in the sand, built a gnome house, and found tide pool creatures. It was heaven on earth. I am completely heathy and happy, with cancer behind me, despite my continued treatment every three weeks with Herceptin, and nightly Tamoxifen. It was a bump in the road that we made it over, and now we will keep on cruising.
I have gone back and forth about what to do with this blog…keep it, transform it, get rid of it…..so it has just been sitting until now. On a whim (that is how I operate) I am shuttin’ her down! I have a TON in the hopper right now and am excited about the present and the future. No time for the past (except for the wisdom gained and new friends made!)
So although I will not be blogging on the site anymore, I will leave the website up because I can see that it is still of value (an average of 20 people per day from all over the world (!) are finding it). I will be adding a page with related cancer books and wellness books that I have found inspiring or useful. So, the website will sit and if anything comes up I will certainly write a post and get it all going again, but in the meantime, just know I am healthy and well. If I am suddenly not, you will hear about it!! And thanks all for your concern. My favorite thing ever is when people ask me how I am doing and tell me they have followed my blog. So thank you for that.
In fact, THANK YOU SO MUCH for all of your support and cheerleading. I am determined to get something meaningful (a little something I am working on) out to everyone who played a part…from people who posted a message on here, sent me emails, made me tea, made my family (and sometimes me) amazing meals, donated money to my family or my causes (Marin Cancer Institute or Breast Health Project), brought me tokens for travel/my altar…..all of you THANK YOU. I have learned so much about community from you all and was super touched by every single message I received on this blog and separate emails so thanks from the bottom of my heart. I am gushing I realize…I suppose it is one of those moments to just say “Words cannot express the gratitude I feel”.
On a fundraising note….the Humboldt Area Foundation fund (which was started with money from the Simply Mac Raffle, the Mad River Brewing Company Tasting Room’s Pints for Non Profit event, Macs in the Midst, Chicken Boots, and a few friends) has been moved over to Humboldt County Breast Health Project (for more info on why, please contact me directly…it just made the most sense…all entities involved agree!). It is now called The Integrative Wellness Fund. I will be honored if you donate to the fund (or the Breast Health Project in general) as people with cancer will be able to have pretty direct access to it within a month!! I am very excited about this. The money will enable a cost share for people with cancer going through treatment to have funds for complimentary/wellness care such as qi gong, acupuncture, and therapy.
Much love, and don’t forget to take care of YOU today. Fill yourself up, and tune up!
Thank you once again! Be well!